Today is the last day of yoga teacher training here in Tumbaco, Ecuador. As I sit writing this in the morning sunshine before the 4 hours of Tantra yoga today, I am glad it’s coming to an end. The space is beautiful, the experience has been a good one, and I now feel prepared to run my own classes, however our happy family of 15 seems to be fed up with each other and the girls are ready to scratch their way out of here, even if it’s through your eyeballs.

Thankfully I’m on the periphery of all the drama but I won’t pretend to be a Yogi Bhajan here – it’s time for me to get out of the fray too. Whenever I’ve done personality testing I’ve always come out as an E(xtrovert), though I think there’s a catch to it – extrovertism for me comes only after lots of I(ntrovert) time. Living with 13 women and two oblivious men (who never once signed up for Karma yoga duties like cleaning the kitchen or sweeping the floor!) makes me feel claustrophobic in some way. I just can’t get out from under the downward dogpile.

Anyways, I won’t bore you with the details, but will give you the hint that it has something to do with a girl, her ex-boyfriend, and a tattooed German in a bathtub together. For your entertainment I’ll leave you with some memorable quotes, were said by various yogis and yoginis over the last 4 weeks in complete seriousness.

Male Classmate: “Daryl, I have a question for you.”
Daryl: “Yes?”
Male Classmate: “What do you think about me getting a second wife? My wife is open to it, but I’m just not sure.”
(I swear, this was a real conversation, totally serious!)

Spanish Yoginis: ¿Que?

The Greeny Yogini: “….blue green algae…. spirulina… it’s like real stem cells…. chlorella… superfoods… micro greens… blue green algae…”

Poyan Yogini: “I watched this video this morning. It was 5 minutes long of a man’s finger trying to get a butterfly to land on it, set to music.”
(Ok, fine, this was partly in jest… but she actually did watch all 5 minutes – Julie!)

Spanish Yoginis: ¿Que?

Imitator Yogini: “…blue green algae… superfoods… chlorella… stem cells?… spirulina… green… um… food…”

Yoga Teacher Teacher: “Raise both legs, crossing the right over the left. Enter the hole between your legs with your hands, then arms, then shoulders, then head… Enjoy your sacred space.”

The Imitator Yogini: “That song, it just made me feel something. Like it moved me. Like I think my chakras opened up. It was special, different from the other songs you played – can you tell me why it was different? What does it all mean?”
Musician: (puzzled) “It was the only song written in a minor key….”

The Young Male Yogi: “Relax in your Shavasana… Breathe into your chest. Breathe into your abdomen. Breathe into your pelvis. Breathe into your anus. Don’t exhale.”

Spanish Yoginis: ¿Que?

Sensitive GI Yogini: “This yuca-almond flour bread is for the gluten intolerant.”
Imitator Yogini: “I’m now gluten free.”

The Yogini’s Boyfriend: “….chlorella… superfoods… leafy greens aren’t even really vegetables, they’re a class of their own… spirulina…. blue green algae… spirulina….”

Photo on 2015-11-13 at 9.06 AM #2

Spanish Yoginis: ¿Que?