You’ve made my trip so much better. I know I’m in the wrong province, but your music goes with the journey even more than the place I think.
Had a long stretch of pavement today to get back on the trail. I don’t really believe in listening to audio while in the bush, but I figured that since I was on the side of a secondary highway it wasn’t really wilderness.
Perfect tune for my mindset. This and the theme song from “Littlest Hobo”
The day and evening are beautiful. Sunny, windy, lovely. onlty hike 7 or 8km today, stopped to visit the Spout, a famous Newfoundland sea geyser than comes from a chanel uder the rocks and water explodes out of it. Pretty neat. Double rainbows in the mist. That Youtube guy would have loved it. Predictable double rainbows.
Feeling a bit isolated today and a good part of me wants to go back to St. John’s tomorrow from Bay Bulls. The trail is beautiful and I do love being out here, yet I feel like I want to get of of it. I don’t know why, I just no longer have interest in doing the whole 265++kms (as evidenced by a 7k hike today!). We’ll see what tomorrow morning brings.
People at home in Canada keep telling me I chose the right winter to leave. They’ve been pummeled by freezing temperatures and tons of snow, east coast to west. While they say this with some humour, they are genuinely sincere that I’m lucky to miss the winter.
Thing is, I love winter. I love the snow, the slowed pace, I even love how the tip of your nose freezes and you only realize it’s gone numb when you brush it against your scarf. Mostly, I’m pissed because for the 5 winters I spent in Toronto, we never had much snow, meaning there wasn’t great cross country ski season north of the city. Now they’re in the flush and I’m in 7 degree sunshine in Brussels (a welcome change from the rain!). There’s no snow for hundreds of miles.
Not saying I’m not grateful when I can wake up, dress in my warmest stretchy tights and go out and do this:
Funny thing I’ve realized lately… You never know how lucky you are. You might think so, you might think you appreciate fully what you’re living, but you can’t actually know until the moment has passed and you don’t have it anymore. So, for the time being, I’m going to love this backyard, 7 degrees in the morning, the rain, and even the lack of double glazing on my street-front bedroom window at 2am when the bar across the street closes. It’s part of the life I’ve got now. The charm of the experience.
Sunday was a busier day than I’d expected… I rolled out of bed after my silly 2 1/2 hour forest run (see that post), and went to Le Phare (The Lighthouse) soup kitchen. It’s such a gift to have the capacity to give, and once I found my place in the 4″x7″ kitchen with four other volunteers I was set. On my way home a friend asked me if I was interested in Sunday Roast (he’s a Belgian with the good luck to have lived in England last year and the good sense to realize Belgian Sunday dinners just aren’t up to par). We stopped in a pub, then decided to do some exploring of the city.
Here’s what we found… It started off fairly typical and met the expectations you’d have of an antiques store in Brussels…
We knew the next store was for us as we walked into the back.
As we continued to look, we found more and more interesting pieces. This one seems almost sad. A rather confused boy, obviously dressed by his mother.
Moving on, I was comforted by what I can only say what a noble attempt to make Canadians feel at home with this piece:
This is possibly my favourite… asked for financing as it’s a 3800 euro investment. I suspect it will appreciate.
Finally, as evening descended we examined our options for transport:
But instead headed over to the awesome vintage store across the street to pick up a warm coat and hit the bricks.
I was just thinking of a few things you might want to know… circa 2008 as you are starting your career and building your life on your own. I know I may not be speaking to you with a lifetime of experience under my belt, but I’ve done a few ‘trials by fire’ in the last 5ish years, and have learned a lot.
You’ll be working primarily with men, all the time. I know you think you know everything there is to know about men since you were a tomboy and spent a lot of time with your dad and brother, and have always had male friends. Well, let me tell you, you will learn a few things and you’ll learn them the hard way. First and foremost – and don’t discount it because you think it won’t happen to you or that you’re so savvy in the ways of the world that you’ll never get tricked – if you get the slightest inclination a man you work with is being amorous, 99.9% of the time he is. Don’t assume that people, especially men, want to help you out of the goodness of their hearts. Don’t think that a man who wears a ring considers himself off the market. Don’t be lured into a sense of security because the man is 20, 30, 40 years your senior. Don’t assume that he’d rather network with you instead of spending time with his family just cause. And especially don’t trust him because he holds a position of authority (especially if it is over you) – this does not mean he lives by a code of honour as most – ahem – executives do…
I can see you now – you’re laughing at my words, thinking you’re much too smart for any man to pull any of that shit on you. Think again. It will happen. Repeatedly. It will happen by that rep you meet in an office who says he’s really interested in your company and wants to hear more. It will happen by your boss who stays late in the evening and comes in early in the morning. It will happen by that client who says a dinner meeting is all he is available. It will happen by that other client who says he can discuss it tonight… over a bottle of wine, of course. It will happen when you get a new job and apply for a position where your boss just needs to talk to you, one-on-one over several meetings where he thinks tequila is a good idea. It will happen when you go to a conference and have messages left saying that your manager has left his hotel room for you with the concierge. It will happen. You won’t always get it right, but if you aren’t too naïve, you’ll get through it without too many scars.
Learn how to say your piece without being confrontational. Also realize confrontation in business is all perception, and this can occur with any emotion – if you convey anger, frustration, dissatisfaction, etc, your message won’t be delivered. If you can’t say it calmly, wait for a better time. It’s not about being a bigger person, it’s about expressing yourself and your thoughts in the way that is true to you, and in a way you can say it succinctly so that the recipient can understand.
Cut your communication to ‘friendly bullet points’. Make a list of what you want to discuss and stick to it. Don’t be dissuaded or distracted. Keep focused. This will garner you more respect than you can imagine when you talk to busy people, and will position you in the winners seat when it comes to negotiation.
Stop gushing and ask for more. When you get a job offer, don’t listen to your mom and say yes because it’s more money than you’ve ever seen in your life. That’s cute, but it gets old real fast. Results don’t come cheap, and if you know you are effective and competent, you don’t either.
Get people in your life that make way more freaking money than you do. Get perspective by finding people who might intimidate you at first. The funny thing about this point is that the subject is money but it really has nothing to do with money. When you know people who aren’t living paycheque-to-paycheque and can’t remember when they ever have, you realize that they don’t make any decisions on time investment based on money. They do things because it is of value to them – because it’s fun, it’s a development opportunity, because they’ll learn something. Your work is the biggest investment of time you can make, so don’t base it just on green. You’re worth so much more than that.
Don’t just dress well, dress the best and pay for it. This will grow you leaps and bounds in no time. Your presentation is the physical manifestation of who you are. It deserves the best. And for god’s sake, work on your posture.
Take your vacations and if you ever possibly can, take your sick days too. I know, I’m one to talk, but you’ll be a better contributor for it. Take care of your physical and mental health, drink water, meditate, exercise and be kind to yourself. Build your confidence.
Finally, wish the best for your colleagues, clients and bosses. Genuinely want the best possible outcome in every situation, and remember that feeling angry is not a positive outcome. “Winning” but still having that nagging feeling of frustration is not winning at all. Connect to who you really are before dealing with confrontation and change, and you’ll realize you always want what is best for each person. Allow that to come through, and let go of the rest.
You’re doing great and you’re going to be just fine. Know you’re loved, capable and special because you are genuine in your desire to lift people up. Do it for yourself.
twofunkyhearts 